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Now Is The Time On Threadbared Vhen Ve Dance.

September 28, 2005 by Mary & Kimberly

Its_an_everything_1

It’s a playsuit!

It’s a blouse!

It’s a leotard!

It’s an everything!

Okay, sure. Fine. It’s an everything. Whatever. The girl on the left seems somewhat normal, as normal as one can seem while crouching in a metallic snakeskin playsuit. Whoops! I mean, a metallic snakeskin playsuit/blouse/leotard/everything.

But check out our friend over on the right.

Its_an_everything_touch_my_monkey_1


It’s a suit to wear on that special day when you return to your home planet!

It’s an outfit that not just suggests, but rather demands, "Touch my monkey! Touch him! Love him!"

It’s a get-up that The Man In The Yellow Hat

would wear when he and Curious George head to Miami Beach for vacation.

It’s an ensemble that both asks and answers the question "I am a man?"   (answer: have you ever seen a man with a four inch cameltoe?)


By gosh, they’re right – it truly IS an everything!


Posted in 70's | 26 Comments

26 Responses

  1. on September 28, 2005 at 8:53 pm Allen

    Pretty sure the outfit on the right (worn by David Bowie)is identical to the one worn by Ronald McDonald in the commercials.
    What worries me more is the total absence of eyes in this pic! The gal on the left seems to have only black voids behind her lids, but that could just be bad lighting/printing. But no! The “man without the yellow hat” is wearing large dark glasses because “he,” too, is occularly-challenged!
    Of course, that would explain why they’re wearing these outfits willingly…


  2. on September 28, 2005 at 10:09 pm Liz

    I think the body suit is the last fad I bought into. The commercial versions always had a “snap crotch”, not a comfortable option.

    And as for the, um, model on the right, do you suppose the pockets are there to mark where the breasts will go when they get around to doing that part of the operation?


  3. on September 28, 2005 at 10:12 pm Sunshyne

    Okay we can put aside the ‘other worldly’ fashion and we can make excuses for the absence of eyeballs, but PEOPLE (!), “they” are ORANGE. . . where do we draw the line??!!


  4. on September 28, 2005 at 10:28 pm sarah

    Is it just me, or does she look like Sprockets from SNL?


  5. on September 28, 2005 at 11:18 pm kevin

    What I want to know is whether Dieter is really tiny or Snake Woman is just freaky huge.

    Just a reminder: Avoid the brown acid — and the orange playsuit/blouse/leotard/everything.


  6. on September 29, 2005 at 8:12 am tictic

    cameltoe? what the heck is that?


  7. on September 29, 2005 at 9:06 am Allen

    Sunshyne wrote:
    “they” are ORANGE. . . where do we draw the line??!!
    ————————

    Maybe they’re Oompa Loompas?


  8. on September 29, 2005 at 9:13 am kevin

    The more I look at it (Must . . Look . . Away ! !), the more I wonder in what manner the miniature Dieter is supported. It’s certainly not being held up by those oddly-shaped feet; they’re not really resting on anything.


  9. on September 29, 2005 at 9:42 am Desiree

    Ach! The gal on the right must be Dieter’s twin sister, Ulrika.


  10. on September 29, 2005 at 10:15 am SageHen

    I think my legs grew two inches during the body suit phase. It was not a comfortable experience.
    Alas Dieter has that suffering look I always felt in these horrible contraptions.


  11. on September 29, 2005 at 11:31 am Marcia

    It does look like the snap crotch on that ugly orange polyester velour gymsuit is chafing. Can’t beat synthetics for trapping unwanted moisture.

    Hey, maybe it needs an accessory. Something large, gray, and macrame.


  12. on September 29, 2005 at 11:43 am Julie

    If you were to wear pants over that orange playsuit/blouse/leotard/everything, it would show one hell of a pantyline.

    But that would be the least of your problems. What happens when you already have a cameltoe and then you sit down??

    Ow.


  13. on September 29, 2005 at 3:55 pm Kenny

    Yes, you forgot to mention the snap crotch! Sassy!


  14. on September 29, 2005 at 8:36 pm ferretnose

    heehee! I love Dieter. Ants! Ants! Ants!


  15. on September 29, 2005 at 8:41 pm sarah

    I notice no one wants to explain what a cameltoe is to tictic. Full crotch wedgie.


  16. on September 29, 2005 at 9:13 pm Annie

    Ya know? The snaps on bodysuites were a big pain in the crotch! They NEVER came undone when you ..really needed them to. And, when they did, it was only because they fell apart. I hated those damn things!


  17. on September 29, 2005 at 9:16 pm Annie

    And, maybe I’m OLD!! But, I always hated that “Touch my Monkey” skit on SNL. It never made ANY sense to me. Give me Gilda, Chevy, John, Dan, Garrit and, Larraine…anyday! Ooop’s…sorry…way off the subject! Wanna…touch my monkey?? Ugh!


  18. on September 30, 2005 at 11:04 am Kathryn

    I show my age when I admit that I owned a bodysuit blouse; when I gained a tad of weight, it really looked strange, and would have shown a six-inch uncomfortable cameltoe if I’d ever worn it just by itself down to the grocery store.

    However, this kind pictured does not have crotch snaps (talk about a concept sure to confuse your boyfriend at the submarine races), it has a zipper. Which is probably easier for poor one-armed Dieter to handle, anyway…


  19. on September 30, 2005 at 3:52 pm Kirsty

    Maybe it’s just me but the bit around the legs looks a lot like a fitted nappy (that’s a diaper if you’re in the States)?


  20. on September 30, 2005 at 4:34 pm jes

    is that jenny from the block?


  21. on October 3, 2005 at 10:57 am kbsalazar

    You can’t fool me. That’s a gymsuit. In the pre sweatshirt/t/sweatpants day we used to have to wear them for gym class (in school colors, no less). You only got one back in 9th grade, and wore it no matter how much you grew by 12th grade. Imagine how much fun baseball or field hockey was in them – just one thin layer of poly cotton between you and the field or between you and 45-degree morning track class. Add the dork factor of having your name embroidered on the back in 6-inch letters, plus the joy of having everyone **see you** wearing these during all outdoor classes. Thank you for haunting me with this trauma again. (Not really.) Shudder.


  22. on October 4, 2005 at 7:00 am Micky

    It’s a onesie for an adult. Does it come with a pattern for adult diapers too?


  23. on October 6, 2005 at 5:08 pm Anonymous

    For Camel Toe novices: http://ctoe.bolt.com/


  24. on October 15, 2005 at 7:18 pm malachi

    i wanna kick his camel toe with my steel-toed boots.


  25. on August 11, 2006 at 11:26 am Kiki

    EGAD! This is so ghastly that I just BOUGHT IT ON EBAY FOR $1.

    It will make a lovely Christmas gift for my sis. We grew up in the 70s, wearing crap like this. It’s more painful than it looks.


  26. on April 8, 2007 at 5:31 pm Nessa

    Omg the lizard/snake/freak thingie looks as if she is about to cry! the others all like *puts on hitler accent* “Cum back to my flat and ve shall make passinate love on the lino floor! oh di I menvion i have Cheesey snacks?”



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