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Things Never To Do Under Any Circumstances.

January 23, 2006 by Mary & Kimberly

Man_mittens_

Don’t tug on Superman’s cape

Don’t spit into the wind

Don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger

And for god’s sake, never EVER make fun of a man who is both wearing cableknit mittens and holding a shotgun.

Trust us on this one.

Posted in 70's | 35 Comments

35 Responses

  1. on January 24, 2006 at 8:31 am Hannah

    Greg Evigan? Is that you?


  2. on January 24, 2006 at 8:56 am Sheri

    It’s safe to make fun of his clothes AND insult his mother for knitting them. How’s he going to pull the trigger while wearing mittens?


  3. on January 24, 2006 at 8:57 am Julie

    Can he even pull the trigger with those bulky mittens on?


  4. on January 24, 2006 at 8:59 am Julie

    LOL Sheri – great minds think alike!

    I was thinking maybe his wife put them on him to prevent him from scratching some icky rash. He looks pretty frustrated.


  5. on January 24, 2006 at 9:17 am Evelyn

    We’ve got this guy all wrong…He’s not as stupid as he looks, literally. Those mittens prevented any gun shot residue from getting on his hands when he “took care” the little missus for insisting he wear this. It was August for Pete’s sake! Why did she have to make him wear it out on the front porch? In front of all the neighbours? He was just too sick of it all. It was the very last straw…


  6. on January 24, 2006 at 9:26 am corkman

    “…and where the $#*@! is my lemonade?!?”


  7. on January 24, 2006 at 10:07 am bestarzmom

    Go ahead, punk. Make my day.


  8. on January 24, 2006 at 10:11 am Cheryl

    Oh God I love this……


  9. on January 24, 2006 at 10:29 am Kris

    You can’t pull the trigger with mittens on, never mind reloading.


  10. on January 24, 2006 at 11:23 am Amy :)

    I think I’m more scared of the moustache than I am of the shotgun!


  11. on January 24, 2006 at 12:37 pm SageHen

    Back. Away. Slowly.


  12. on January 24, 2006 at 12:43 pm Wendy

    Does he have tan pants on….or no pants on at all??


  13. on January 24, 2006 at 12:58 pm Cidliness

    The pants were not included, sadly enough. What you CAN’T see are the nugget warmers that WERE.


  14. on January 24, 2006 at 1:08 pm d34dpuppy

    he’s a pathetic little man whose wife/mommie dresses him funny…no matter wot is warmin the nuggies, they have still shrunk into oblivion


  15. on January 24, 2006 at 1:33 pm Anonymous

    The scarf is so…pretty. I want it. Does it come without the guy?


  16. on January 24, 2006 at 4:43 pm Brent

    You don’t even get to make fun of this guy if his cable knit mitts have a “dummy string”. The mitts you see are to give you a “sporting chance” – you get a running start while he’s pulling them off and he gets to show how good a shot he is when he blasts a couple of loads of double aught buck (or rock salt if he’s feeling kindly) into you’re scrawny arse. Only fair doncha know.


  17. on January 24, 2006 at 7:57 pm Liz

    That scarf is pretty. That sort of shotgun would be easily reloadable while wearing mittens, but he’d have to pull the trigger with his thumb.


  18. on January 24, 2006 at 10:26 pm Kathryn

    The only thing missing in the ensemble is the cable-knit ski mask for when he goes down to hold up the liquor store…


  19. on January 24, 2006 at 10:36 pm Dorothy

    This was cute! Thanks for the laugh…I could use it today. ;o)


  20. on January 25, 2006 at 10:41 am toiletpaper

    Totally repulsed but yet can’t look away. I’m convinced that those are not tan pants. I think I see a small mole or…. blemish {{{shudder}}}


  21. on January 25, 2006 at 1:38 pm Lib

    Slim looks fabulous in this pristine white sweater set. Must be the “post-bloody-pool-room-brawl” photo. Too bad the mounted head of Big Jim Walker wasn’t ready in time for the photo.

    You ladies make me laugh until it hurts. And I mean that in a GOOD way.

    Your fan in Chattanooga…


  22. on January 25, 2006 at 10:14 pm bb

    I’m trying to come up with a “Jim Crochet” joke to go along with the song, but it just isn’t working.

    If only it weren’t knitted fashions being featured!


  23. on January 26, 2006 at 7:53 am Marg

    I think perhaps he knit these himself and he doesn’t want you to think he’s a sissy for doing so. I reckon there’s a secret little hole in them there mittens for his trigger finger, so I’d be careful around this one… don’t mess around with “Jim”. A doot de dootde de doot doot-n doot-n…


  24. on January 26, 2006 at 6:12 pm question mark

    So why does everyone assume that this is a guy?


  25. on January 27, 2006 at 12:38 pm toiletpaper

    To: question mark.
    Gee I don’t know maybe it’s the MOUSTACHE or the FIVE O’Clock SHADOW??? So, like, yer saying this could be the “bearded lady” on loan from the circus??


  26. on January 28, 2006 at 5:44 pm severina

    If these are meant for shooting why the hell didn’t they make the mittens like those (I think) Swedish military ones with the one finger?
    I think these is for sittin’, not shootin’.


  27. on January 29, 2006 at 6:21 pm allison

    What concerns me is that at first glance, I thought he was sitting in a living room or sun porch. INSIDE. With a shotgun. That spells unbalanced to me!


  28. on January 31, 2006 at 2:12 am Matt

    It’s been a long winter and the duck blind isn’t working as well as he had hoped. He only hopes his wife will appreciate his new found skill.


  29. on January 31, 2006 at 11:16 am Cinderbeast

    At first glance, I believe the pants to be missing as well! This whole get up is disturbing in oh so many ways. As Dorothy stated, it makes me shudder too! Eweeee!


  30. on January 31, 2006 at 10:45 pm lulu

    Obviously Tom Berenger’s career had a very lowly start…


  31. on February 7, 2006 at 1:18 pm Inky

    Yep, some Yeti hunters just do it for the sport of it. Some hunt them the meat. But in the spirit of our great Native American forefathers I use every single part of the beast — including it’s woolly white pelt..


  32. on February 17, 2006 at 7:40 pm jfasoga

    With or without pants, he’s still scrawny. Lookit those legs.


  33. on March 4, 2006 at 2:19 am rick

    anyone know tom berenger’s email address, i would like to send him an email because people are constantly telling me I look like him since 1994, its getting out of hand


  34. on April 12, 2006 at 9:48 am markbnj

    And you don’t mess around with Jim.

    Yeah. Another old timer who still misses Jim Croce’s music.
    More then buddy holly. More then John Lennon.
    Almost as much as Harry Chapin.


  35. on November 30, 2006 at 1:51 am olga berzan

    If anybody know mail or e-mail address of American actor Tom Berenger please send me.



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