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Just Like Real Racists!

May 15, 2006 by Mary & Kimberly

Justlikerealbabies

Look!  Dolls!  Just like real babies!  You know, real babies.  In the real world.  Where the white kids get to frolic around in their Sunday best and matching hair bows while the poor little African American kid wears nothing but a soggy diaper and spends all day just looking for a hug.

Posted in Crafts_ | 30 Comments

30 Responses

  1. on May 15, 2006 at 5:24 pm AGRHGGH

    WHAT THE ISODUAIHGODXC>(#*#(%&@(#(@!*!~

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


  2. on May 15, 2006 at 5:54 pm danielle

    It is very fortunate that I wasn’t consuming any liquid when I popped onto threadbared today. I can’t stop laughing!


  3. on May 15, 2006 at 7:55 pm Donna

    My granny made me one of those when I was little.
    I was the only little girl on the block that had one of “those” instead of the much saught after Cabbage Patch Kid…Mom said “It is just as good…a doll is a doll”

    i think I need to call my therapist now


  4. on May 15, 2006 at 8:15 pm severina

    Jesus Christ, these things are ugly. Kill, kill, kiiiilll!!!

    Little butt-faced freaks!

    Gaaaah!

    *goes on rampage in toy store, yanking random Cabbage Patch Kids from store shelf and punching them in the face*

    Now that was unnecessary. I should be ashamed. I should be, but I’m not. So there.


  5. on May 15, 2006 at 8:40 pm awwwgeewiz

    Real good photo shoot; fancy ass whites with the kid from the hood. Pour me another cup of mud, strong and black; this is too much for my mind to wrap around.


  6. on May 15, 2006 at 10:14 pm Lisa

    It’s not even isolated. I distinctly remember being at K-Mart a couple years ago and noticing all the white baby dolls in their individual boxes with their cribs and bottles and whatnot, and on the shelf below was a box of loose black dolls. No boxes.

    I don’t remember if the black dolls were just in diapers, but that’s got to be traumatizing for any kid to see.


  7. on May 15, 2006 at 11:43 pm spaazlicious

    Aw, shit, I’ll bet they even call him Toby.


  8. on May 16, 2006 at 7:57 am Allen

    What’s with the “Just-Like-Real-Baby” on the far right floor?
    First off, she’s mooning everyone, or maybe just trying to tan her fanny.
    Secondly, she seems prostrate in worship of, what? The other JLRB’s? The diaper-clad African chieftan JRLB?
    Or maybe blonde girl and brown-haired boy pushed her down, just a moment before the picture was snapped. Such divas!
    Actually, considering how hot those lights at photo-shoots get, the African American JRLB is probably the only one dressed comfortably!


  9. on May 16, 2006 at 9:58 am SageHen

    They have a pretty good head of hair for real babies. could they be wearing JLRB wigs?


  10. on May 16, 2006 at 10:16 am Liz

    Are these panty-hose people spawn?

    (And speaking of panty-hose people, how much do you want to bet that at least one person who did that craft used the teal colored nylons they bought one time when they were shopping drunk and then wondered why their panty-hose person was blue?)


  11. on May 16, 2006 at 11:57 am James

    Is it just me, or is the little black baby sporting a hair pick in its afro?


  12. on May 16, 2006 at 1:10 pm Kathryn

    just like real babies? with crossed eyes, jaws wired shut, and no elbows? And what is keeping the red-headed one from falling over backwards from the weight of all that hair?


  13. on May 16, 2006 at 3:18 pm Lynn

    I think the soggy diaper and lack of clothes is the least of Ms. Blackie’s problems…that has got to be the most painful case of camel toe I’ve ever seen!


  14. on May 16, 2006 at 4:28 pm Daffy

    Take me out to the freak shows and dump me in the hog wash, spin me around until I puke, and send me to school tired and dirty, but don’t make me look at babies like these mamma, I beg you.


  15. on May 16, 2006 at 10:14 pm K

    Some people can find racism in anything. Do you honestly believe someone set out to make this a racist photo? Perhaps the darker baby is in the diaper because the lighter babies were too light to show good detail (Makes sense to anyone who is a photographer…)


  16. on May 16, 2006 at 11:18 pm elliegal

    Diaper camel toe is just…wrong.


  17. on May 17, 2006 at 1:03 am elliegal

    I KNOW this isn’t where this belongs but I couldn’t find an appropriate spot to post it SO…

    Has anyone ever taken a good look at the folks at the top of this page…the Threadbared family? Check out the hideous matching layered shirt couple. Her hair is bad yes, but oh my. His is stunning.

    And what the hell does the little boy in the ill-fitting coat think is so funny??? Oh wait. Look where his hands are wandering…

    On the left side, what’s going on with Tom Cruise and Cher (in The Technicolor Dreamcoat)? Don’t ask the girl next to him, who just can NOT get over how short he is in real life.


  18. on May 17, 2006 at 10:30 am courtney

    I, too, had one of these dolls. My mother refused to buy me a real Cabbage Patch Dolls, saying she could make one for me that was just as good. Well, we took what we could get back then, even though it was “so obvious” they weren’t real, as they didn’t have a plastic head, that baby powder smell, or a Cabbage Patch kid nose. The real dolls have pre-surgery Michael Jackson noses, but these dolls have the post-surgery model.


  19. on May 17, 2006 at 11:35 am Ashphalt

    You’re all jumping to conclusions. Little African-American JLRB isn’t being ostracized because of his color or because of his (lack of) clothes.

    He’s being ostracized because he’s the freak JLRB who isn’t cross-eyed, the hideous freak of craftwork gone horribly wrong. You can almost hear the normal ones chanting, “kill, kill!”


  20. on May 17, 2006 at 12:28 pm Melissa B.

    My mom MADE these dolls, with this pattern!

    Only she? She added a tube of flesh-colored fabric to the boy dolls as a mini-penis.

    Talk amongst yourselves about my therapy bills.


  21. on May 17, 2006 at 12:49 pm Sunshyne

    I saw a lonely, blonde, JLRB in my favorite thrift store just the other day. . .they are definitely much worse in real life.

    I’m really disturbed by the mini-penis. wow.


  22. on May 17, 2006 at 7:37 pm Daffy

    ya, who wants a mini penis, give me a maxi one anytime or give me .. well, let’s see… what would be a good substitute? Maybe just ask santa for a doll with pants sewn on permanently? Sure beats the Wetsy-Betsy doll I had to feed water with a little tiny nipple bottle, and all the rusty water that leaked out of a tiny dirty little hole in her bottom into diapers that never fit. Great training for girls in the 1950’s. Look how far we’ve come with panty hoe dolls and crochet condoms for our crochet Ken dolls. Life is good.

    I hate looking at the huge piles of dead dolls at the Goodwill stores with mashed up heads, missing arms, crayon marks all over their faces and screwed up clothes with old stinky food crusted on them; makes me want to buy them all and give them a good funeral and bury them in the back yard with my kids Easter chickens that died over those foolish years that I kept buying the kids Easter chickens instead of a couple of JLRB pants and club foot an all….


  23. on May 17, 2006 at 8:32 pm severina

    Mini penis???

    Damn, I’m glad I grew up on stuffed frogs & ponies nstead of JLRB dolls–with or without the added mini penis.


  24. on May 19, 2006 at 1:58 pm Anonymous

    No mini-balls to go with???


  25. on May 28, 2006 at 10:52 am Lois

    As perverted as I am, I was also wondering about the mini-ballsack. ^_^ My mother also made a few Cabbage Patch dolls, although I don’t remember if she had this pattern. She made lots of Carolee Creations dolls, too, which are way cuter since their faces aren’t all smushed. As long as I live, I will NEVER understand the appeal of Cabbage Patch dolls. If I gave birth to something that homely, I’d tell the doctors to send it back! I remember the fanatical craze that possessed some women to wait in line for hours or days just to get that one, special doll that they just couldn’t live without. People were fighting in the stores over them and paying hundreds of dollars for these fugly dolls.


  26. on June 1, 2006 at 9:42 am Heather

    Donna said:
    “My granny made me one of those when I was little.
    I was the only little girl on the block that had one of “those” instead of the much saught after Cabbage Patch Kid…Mom said “It is just as good…a doll is a doll” ”

    Donna, I think your mom/granny were in league with my mom. We were the poor family living out of town, and I knew mom couldn’t afford Cabbage Patch Dolls. I didn’t even ask. The look of happiness on her face when she gave us these on Christmas morning as “Our own cabbage patch dolls” was only exceeded by my look of horror……

    Yes… therapy bills are growing again!!!


  27. on June 19, 2006 at 10:36 pm Michelle

    O, man… I’m another childhood victim of these horrible dolls!


  28. on July 26, 2006 at 12:54 am Alison

    I remember being about 5 years old at a birthday party where one of my friends was given one of these by her aunie, and yes, it had the mini penis, and all the moms and family members passed it around *squealing* hysterically. I was just really scared amd confused by all the squealing.


  29. on February 2, 2007 at 8:30 pm Anonymous

    My mom got me one of these dolls instead of a Cabbage Patch Kid when I was little. I was such a brat. I threw a huge tantrum and refused to play with it. She thought it was all cute because she had the woman who made it make it look like me. I remember that just pissed me off all the more for some reason.
    I think I still have it packed away in a box somewhere.


  30. on September 1, 2007 at 1:35 pm SHE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED

    My mother bought one of these dolls from a little lady in our neighborhood who sold them. She happily brought it home to me (eight years old at the time!) and gave it to me. I happily played with it for a few days, the third or fourth day, I decided it was time to change his little clothes. I removed the diaper to find… boy bits in all of their tiny glory. I took it to my mother and questioned her about them… she preformed an emergency surgery. My little eunuch and I had such good fun. A few years later, I realized what happened and have laughed ever since!



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