Pauline Denham.
Yes, her again. The Pauline Denham of Little Tops Fame.
Time after time Pauline continues to impress us with her choice of hairstyles, makeup, posing and most importantly…props. Oh, and themes too. Like me, Pauline is a gal who enjoys her themes.
Can you spot the theme of this booklet from the cover?
Take your eyes off the model’s Cinnabon-inspired hairdo for a second and look down at the bottom left corner. “Fairy Tale Book.”
Oh dear.
Ta-daaaaa!
It’s your fairy godsomething!
“I get three wishes? Well, first I’d like to pose beside a large fake pumpkin while wearing a mohair suit….”
I think there’s supposed to be something about the Three Little Bears here but the model is totally not having it.
Oh look! It’s…Little Green Riding…no, that’s not it.
It’s…it’s..Robin Hood?
The Green Lantern?
I’m so confused right now.
Is there some fairy tale I’m not remembering? About a woman who fell deeply in love with a tree branch and lived happily ever after?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your…knitted coat with the enormously oversized buttons!
Once upon a time in a land far far away…Dr. Zaius chose a very special pattern model to help lead the revolution.
“And then one day the ugly rubber duckling turned into a beautiful latex swan….awww.”
The End.
I personally love the lady that fell inlove with the tree branch. It’s one of my all time favorites.
I don’t know which one is creepier, the photo of the Stepford Wives and the Ugly Rubber Ducklings or the photo of Evita Peron and the Decapitated Head of Dr. Zaius.
You know, I think Evita scares me more. She definitely looks like she’s plotting something.
For sheer dippiness, this is unsurpassed. I’m pretty sure the cover girl was the representative of an alien race on Star Trek. But my favorite is Little-Pan-Robin-Hood, staring dreamily into the distance. Don’t go into the light!
Unhappy goldilocks looks like she’s oh so painfully promoting lip wax.
Do you think the “tree branch” might be an allusion to Jack and the Beanstalk? Still don’t understand why she seems so zoned out over it, though. What kind of magic beans were those, anyway? Simply weird.
Perhaps Pauline was thinking of Sleeping Beauty. Either that or the poor woman’s simply been beaten unconscious and the weapon was left behind…CSI: Fairyland.
I’m wondering if the lady with the tree branch is sleeping beauty… and the branch is supposed to be one of the rose vines covering the castle?
Pointy green hat lady looks about 11 months pregnant! And the hat? Perhaps she’s at school with Harry Potter and she stole the hat that assigns groups.
Hmmmmm, I went into a knitting shop last week and the current catalogs aren’t any better than the old ones!
Dr. Zauis appears to be crying. Witch must have tortured him before she beheaded him. So cruel.
Green Pan lady is totally a space alien.
Notice how the hat covers her extra antana eyes.
The gloves are disguising her three fingered hand.
As to the lump in the middle of her coat, why it’s her second head, of course.
The green outfit is Anybody from West Side Story, still trying to find a group to fit in. “I can be a Merry Man! Just gimme a chance!”
Fairy god-something seems to have a painful ailment, or an itch ( of the kind that perhaps one shouldn’t scratch when having ones photograph taken) she is defiantely not looking comfortable.
Miss Attitude with the black gloves represents the Wicked Queen from Snow White. Just mixed up a poisonous brew….wants to slip it to whomever designed that scratchy looking coat.
Hey, I LIKE that pointy green hat! I took one look at it and immediately thought “ooh, I should make something like that”. Anyway, I love your blog, you are having too much fun (which really just means that you are having more fun than I am, which seems so unfair), and I wanted to let you know that I’ve linked to you on my new-ish blog. Keep up the good work!
Style 1122 is clearly the tooth fairy. Or at least she’s a fairy with HUGE teeth.
Style 1108 is Snow White’s evil stepmother. Before hitting on the Apple idea, she tried slipping Snowy a poisoned pumpkin. It didn’t turn out quite as planned.
Styles 1118-1121 are fans of Ze Frank’s “The Show” on the internet — Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? They do, they do! A chick – a chick – a chick a quack quack!
Style 1107 looks like she smells what the bears do in the woods.
1102 is the story of Psyche, where she was pursued by the ardent youth madly in lust with her until her father turned her into a tree. Something like that, anyway. Greek myth.
I’m thinking 1109 may be intended as Beauty & the Beast.
1105 isn’t Rapunzel, it’s Rip Van Winkle. See the beard that grew while s/he slept?
1106 is the present ruler of the Emerald City…the wicked witch of Oz. Apparently, much has happened since Dorothy left.
Evidently Ms. Denham had been watching too many episodes of “Bewitched” when she came up with these concoctions. Model 1108’s resemblance to Endora is just a tad creepy, too.
Disturbing. All dreadfully, painfully disturbing.
But I think the last panel is the most upsetting. It seems clear that the twin evil stepmothers (they’re not fooling anyone by wearing different sweaters and hairstyles) and Mistress Zaius have bewitched the Fairy-whatsis’s offspring. Now she’ll have to move to a cave on the edge of the village and raise her swan prince alone, thinking of nothing but sweet revenge.
It’s clearly Peter Pan. He lost his shadow and had to make up for it with an off the shoulder yet big huge collared knit coat with 3/4 length sleeves to show off his brand new used elbow length leather gloves. He IS all that, you know.
Ow, that lady with the pumpkin is wearing the scratchiest suit ever. And is that really the best pumpkin they could find? It’s dented on the side!
How does 1119 get her hair like that??
I have a copy of “The Fairy Tale Book”. I’ve read it many times. It has beautiful artwork, unlike Pauline Denham’s attempts at tacky model setups. About half of the models pictured don’t go with any story in the book, and most of the rest I have to really stretch to figure out which story they’re trying pretend to be in.
#1107 is clearly from “Beauty & the Beast”, though in this case I’d be hard pressed to tell which is the beauty and which is the beast.
Then there’s the story “The Wild Swans”. Unfortunately, in the story they were *all* white and there were 11 of them. (Though thank god she didn’t have 11 models in tacky outfits in one picture!) And none of the swans were made of rubber. Though some of the models clearly are.
It’s like they’re all on drugs. Bad drugs. *Really* bad drugs.
Stupid rascist rubber duckies…
Is it wrong that I like the jacket in 1108?
Kathy:
Yes.
Kathy: No, it’s ok that you like it. But only because it makes it easier for me to admit that I wish I could pull off wearing the outfit in 1102. (I’ll skip on the false eyelashes though.)
Wait just a darn minute! #1106! In “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”, I *swear* when he dresses as a girl to get through a police roadblock, he is wearing a blue version of THIS sweater.
What can I say – as a lover of tree branches myself, I think I’d look darned good in 1102! Where can I get my hands on that pattern – I’m serious!
Those rubber duckies scare me.
What an absolute crack-up! Hilarious!
Hubby is listening to some weird techno music right now, which seems perfectly fitting with reading this post! I just discovered your blog. Hilarious! The comments from other readers are just as funny as the original posts! LOVE it! Thanks for starting my day off on a fab note!
Penny
The model for style 1107 (fourth picture down) looks just like Daphne from “Frasier”. Maybe it’s her mom.
I am fairly certainly that the lady in love with the tree branch is in fact Sleeping Beauty (literary version asleep in a castle wrapped with thorny branches and vines) as opposed to Sleeping Beauty (Disney version, tarted up in a box).
if we ever worry if the world is now not a better place. this proves that it is.
pic 1: Have you ever seen a book of fairy tales actually titled “Fariy Tale Book”? How creative.
pic 2: The looks may fool you, but she just got back from murdering a whole classroom of first graders with that wand and drank their blood. See the blood stains on her lips. That woman, a Murderer? Big shocker.
pic 3: She has a vague come-hither-and-I’ll-do-things-to-you-with-this-fake-pumpkin-that-you-never-imagined look, no?
pic 4: Shes a model, so she’ll probably purge the porridge after the shoot.
pic 7: Thats not a beard; she just coughed up her small intestine.
pic 8: I’m not sure i know what story this is referencing but i know i like where that monkey head is headed tehe…