Much as I’d like to blame our absence on something really exciting, like being abducted and eaten alive by a poncho-wearing band of legless, armless zombies I’m afraid the real excuses are much more lame.
Kimberly is busy at work.
I went on vacation.
While I was on vacation I sat under a palm tree and a coconut fell upon my wee little head. I immediately blacked out and spilled a mai tai all over my bikini. When I came to I was lying in a hospital bed and a man in a white coat was waving his hand over my face and asking me my name, age, home address, favorite color and who did I think would win on "Dancing With The Stars." Of course, I couldn’t remember anything. After a while a man showed up and said he was my "husband" and that he was going to take me "home." We pulled up to a ramshackle place in the country and a bunch of dirty, rowdy kids came out and were all annoying and then my "husband" was all, "Well, I guess I’ll go bowl or whatever it is I do while you clean the house from top to bottom and fix our dinner." So I started sweeping this hovel that was supposedly "mine" when suddenly I realized, "Wait, a minute! This isn’t me! I don’t have kids! I don’t sweep! This is just the plot to that damn movie Overboard!"
My real life came flooding back to me and I caught the next plane back to Atlanta, stopped at the package store for a fifth of Jack Daniel’s and gleefully ran into my own home. But when I got back into my office I was confused. There was a large, shiny object sitting on my desk. I turned to my husband and pointed to the desk. "What’s that?" He put his arm around me and gently said, "That’s a computer, honey."
"Huh? What is…a…computer?"
"It’s this thing that you sit in front of all the time."
"I sit? In front of that?"
"Yeah. Oh, and sometime you use it for this website you do."
"Web….site?"
Needless to say it’s taken time for me to fully regain my memory. Earlier today I emailed Kimberly to say how completely awesome mayonnaise is and also, had she ever seen this terrific show called "Live With Regis and Kelly?" She wrote back to remind me that I completely detest mayonnaise and that Regis Philbin makes me projectile vomit.
So, you know…I’m just trying to get back in the swing of things. I appreciate everybody’s patience as I relearn how to use this whole world wide interspace. I may be able to regain enough memory to put up an actual "post" (I think that’s what they’re called?) on Friday. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed…
As creative as your post was, I miss your regular updates. So – Get With the Program, Lady!! (Just kidding!) Whatever it really was that kept you from the computer for far too long, I hope you’re refreshed and ready to write lots of funny, funny posts for us, your endearing fans. (Did I say that right?!)
Take care,
Amy
Glad you are not dead.
Ditto. Death would be such an interruptive event for this website. And danged inconvenient.
The rumor circulating was you were both eaten by ponchos. So it’s with huge relief I see we were wrong.
Sounds like your vacation was a he**uva day at sea.
Welcome back!
I had a delusion like that once….wait….it seems I’m still under it’s spell! Rotten kids, something called a “husband”? housework??? ICKY!! No, please tell me I’m still dreaming this nightmare! Let me wake up now and have it all be gone….Calgone……..
phew – what a relief!
Ever thought of having ‘guest bloggers” like what they do at design*sponge and others? There are many of us out here with pics we are desperate to share.
I have the winning entry for the “best afro on cheerful fruit seller in macrame waistcoat” contest I believe you are planning to run later in the Summer. And my “sinister children in knitted trousers” collection is second to none.
xx
Pesky cocoanuts.
Did you save the coconut? A clever crafter such as yourself could make a stunning bikini top out of two coconut half-shells AND have new material for the website. Just A Thought.
Did you save the coconut? A clever crafter such as yourself could make a stunning bikini top out of two coconut half-shells AND have new material for the website. Just A Thought.
OK, so I stuttered in the previous post. Sorry.
Glad to know that I’m not the only one that has nightmares related to Overboard. If only I could look like Goldie while I suffer all those humliations.
Kimberly is working entirely too much. We miss her!
Glad you went on vacation & weren’t consummed by those stealthy ponchos. I was just about to start a blog on taking odds with the other “fans” on what happened to you and Kimberly. We could have had all kinds of rumors flying about the website! See what happens when you leave us alone too long?!! BTW, that fifth of Jack Daniels should kickstart your creative process right away.
i really hope you didn’t get hit on the head with a coconut.
hahahahahaheeheeheeheehee. . Overboard.
dead = bad
= you’re back in action
amnesia > dead
Before you know it, you’ll start designing your own poncho patterns. While eating mayonnaise.
Welcome back.